[me] cold coffee drinker

On any given day, I must reheat my coffee at least twice. The cup sitting next to me has been nuked 2 times this morning since it's original filling at 7am. It's 1pm. It's taken me 6 hours to drink this coffee.

Don't get it twisted. I love coffee. And I mean, LOVE it. I need it. But the problem is this. I fill it and drink half of it in the morning when it's fresh and hot. Then something inevitably comes up that requires me to abandon the half guzzled java and run off. Then the cup is found, later, and it's irritatingly cold. So I reheat it. Then it happens again. The next thing I know, it's lunchtime and I'm heating it for the final time and I just swiftly tip it back, like a 22 year old on Spring Break in Cancun.

I use this story to illustrate how disorganized my days are. I can't even finish the beverage that gets me started, for Pete's sake.

I've been doing this here "homemaker" thing full time for 17 months. And I'm terrible at it.

I'm a woman of routine and schedules. I believe this quality I possess made me a better teacher. (Though there are plenty of teachers out there who could give a rat's patootie about routines and they ran their classrooms just fine.) But for me, it gave me a sense of stability and purpose. And it governed my day. I could rest each night knowing I accomplished everything on my to-do list and it was done in an orderly fashion.

But not these days.

These days.

These here days I feel like I scurry around this house with no real objective (other than to keep us alive) and end up forgetting to do all the important things and only succeeding in passing the hours.

Here's what I want:
1. I want to have a set time to clean every day with a specific cleaning task (mop all the floors; dust all surfaces, etc.).
2. I also want some reserved activity times with my 17 month old. A time for free play and a time for structured play (puzzles; seasonal/holiday crafts; etc.).
3. And I absolutely insist on a quiet time for me to do my Bible Study.

This all has to be planned around mealtimes and the daily naptime. And should probably run from the time we wake up to the time when Daddy gets home. I'd love to have a nice little bulletin board set up with colorful posters and borders and.... oh my word, I'm getting too teacherly here. No bulletin board necessary, but some kind of schedule displayed in the house would be nice.

But none of the above gets done. What gets done is what is pressing at the moment. I allow too many distractions. The TV is probably on too much. And my phone definitely gets way too much of my attention.

Do you ever feel that way? (Lie to me if you don't.)

I do manage to feed my toddler 3 wholesome meals a day. And sometimes I get to eat too (don't get me started on this Mommy diet)! My husband gets a homemade meal each night. It's even healthy. Sometimes. I make sure the dishes are done promptly. And even though it sits in baskets all over the house, the laundry gets done every day. Every day, y'all.

But I can't seem to get everything else done. You know what I'm talking about. Mopping all them floors. Floors are everywhere. And they all need to be mopped or vacuumed! Gah! And dusting the dang ceiling fans. Why is there so much dust up there? And when it comes to my daughter, we play together, but I never dig out those puzzles that we gotta do together. And we don't ever go on walks anymore (mostly because it's freaking winter outside, for crying out loud). Or get out and do something fun together.

Why not? I tell myself things don't get done because it's too hard. There's just too much going on. My daughter goes to a Mother's Day Out twice a week. And I do a Bible Study twice a week. And then there's how my daughter is always flipping the script and changing her mind about when to eat and when to nap. I mean, c'mon. Can't I get some regularity from day-to-day? (not that kind of regularity, people) How am I supposed to make a schedule and establish routines when things are always changing?!

But is that the real problem? Nope. The real problem isn't that a schedule is hard to make. I can make a schedule. I can schedule the heck out of a day.

The real problem lies deep within me.

The real problem is motivation. And lack of confidence. Every time something changes around here, I lose confidence. I don't think I'm good enough. I think that I'm not cut out for this. Why is this so difficult for me? Why can't I be more resilient and flexible? It's like I'm not meant to be in this position.

But God placed me in this very place for a reason.

Even though I don't have enough faith in myself to be a homemaker, God does. He believes I can do it. And even though every day I think I've failed myself, and my family, and God, He still believes in me. After all, I get another chance in the morning when I wake up. "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." -Lamentations 3:23 Isn't that great? I may have messed up today, but tomorrow I can try again. As I hang my head in shame over how I've failed my family today, I can rest knowing that God has mercy on me and will give me another chance tomorrow. And he has great faith in me. In little ole me. To do this homemaker job. We all know I need His faithfulness and His mercy.

I just want to get up and look at each day on a spreadsheet. Here's what I need to do. Here's how I'll do it. And it will be done. Because much like when I was a teacher and had 28 children depending on me, I have a husband depending on me. And a daughter. Why is that not motivating enough?

I've tried lots of different ways to approach my days. I've made schedules. And to-do lists. And I've bought planners. Or printed out daily task sheets. I just can't find the motivation here. I half-heartedly glance over at my to-do list, sitting on my desk (next to my cold coffee, no doubt) and I dismiss it. I continue to sit on the couch and scroll through Pinterest looking at ways to decorate my dream house that is no where near in my possession while my daughter rides on her plastic pony or feeds her baby doll. I know I should do some puzzles with her. Or take her out for a walk. Or sweep the kitchen. Or dust the bookshelves. But lack of motivation keeps me stuck. I once heard that the only way to change the way you think is to change the way you think. Prayer is what starts the process of change.
And I don't pray enough about it. Heck, I can't even put deodorant on most days, much less any other habits. But let's be honest, praying doesn't have to be hard. I need to simply ask God to give me motivation. God, please give me motivation to be better. 

I have all these big ideas and plans, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather sit on the couch and watch my daughter play in her pretend kitchen. I'd rather be blogging than cleaning during naptime. And on MDO days, I'd rather be running my personal errands than grocery shop. So basically what I'm saying is that I'm equal parts selfish and lazy. That's the real problem here, folks.

Ouch.

Reality is tough, y'all. And I don't like to feel convicted about my life. I look back at my years of teaching and I feel good about them. I feel like I did a good job. So one day when I look back at my years of staying home raising kids, I also want to feel good about them. I'll have to excuse these first 17 months when I literally have no idea what I'm doing. But maybe that ends right now. Maybe I can be the one to flip the script and say that things are changing around here. I'm going to get things done. I'm going to be productive and go to bed each night feeling good about my day again.

Can I get an amen?!

If you find yourself nodding your head in agreement as you read this (bless your heart), let's do this together. Let's start praying for motivation to be better. And then let's put our faith in God that He will deliver. Do you believe that you are in this position for a reason? Then your prayers should reflect that.

God, I have faith that you put me here at home for Your greater purpose. And I give You the glory for allowing me such a privilege! And now I ask You to fill me with motivation to be good at it.

And if you're saying the same prayer, I pray for you too.

This is powerful stuff people. I know that change is hard. Especially when you kinda don't want to change! I mean, I'd love to continue to sit on the couch most of the day and only spend about 2 hours cleaning and being a legitimate homemaker. But I know that's not right. That's not using this gift wisely. And it's a gift to be home. Don't for one second think it's not. It's a gift and a blessing. And we should see it as such. In fact, each day is a gift. And Annie Dillard was right: “How you live your days becomes how you live your life.” So each day that I spend on the couch quickly turns into my life on the couch. That's just plain scary to me. That's not how I want to spend my life. And it's certainly not the legacy I want to leave behind.

This post has really put me on a roller coaster. At first I was just doing a little complaining, then thinking, then feeling guilty, then an epiphany, and now reflecting. I've got prayers to pray and work to do. So I'm out here.

But I think I'll go reheat my coffee one final time... ;o)

[decorator] China Cabinet

A homemaker works on a budget. And when it comes to decorating or furnishing your home, you must stay on a budget.

We've needed a china cabinet for a while. But the problem is that we also need to get a nice kitchen table to match it! And the two of those together can be quite costly. So I have been looking at antique stores and flea markets for a set. My husband and I visit yard and estate sales looking. But we've yet to find something we like.

One day I look outside and see my neighbor holding a garage sale. And I spot a China Cabinet. I like!! So I go over and make a bid. A few hours later, it's in my dining room and we paid NOTHING! Yeah! I have the most generous neighbors! They were happy to see it go to a good home since it had been in their family for many years.

BEFORE

The problem with it though, was that it was a little dated. But I immediately knew what to do. Replace the knobs!

So I went to a few places looking for new hardware. And none of them were cute. And they were all way too expensive. Then it occurred to me to try Hobby Lobby. Did you know they have a whole aisle dedicated to knobs? Well they do.

So I picked out some cute ones. If you look & count closely in the picture above, you'll see that it needed TWENTY new knobs. And some of them were $5 a piece. Luckily they were half off so I saved some serious moola.

Aren't they just the cutest?

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. And I finally get to display my wedding china!

We live in a 1955 Ranch home that has lots of charm. Calling it a fixer-upper would be a compliment to it. It's taken a lot of patience and elbow grease to make it our home, but we love it. And this cabinet is a perfect fit for it!

AFTER

[decorator] Entry Way Table

A homemaker must keep her home looking pretty! I may be here all day, but when my husband walks in the door after a long day at the office, I want him instantly feel "at home." So I try to make this place as cheerful and cozy as possible.

We bought a sofa table a few years ago and never quite figured out how/where to use it. Right now it's against a wall in our formal living room that serves as an entry way table. And lately I've been keeping it decorated for the seasons/holidays!

Take a look!

Autumn Entry Way Table...

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Christmas Entry Way Table...

We don't have a fireplace in this old house (quite remarkable actually, considering the age), so we have to hang our stockings somewhere else! Enter this table! I like to frame a picture each year and display them with the stockings. A little lighted garland adds to the enchantment.

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Winter Entry Way Table

 

Hobby Lobby is my friend for seasonal decor! I got all the stuff this time around 80% off! Can't beat that! 

[crafter] Halloween Wreath

Halloween is fun for me for only a few reasons.
1. Candy
2. Costumes
3. Spooky Decor

I don't decorate for Halloween, but for a few things here and there. And when I do, I go with the gothic look. Spooky black candlesticks; black ravens; cobwebs; etc.

So when it came time to put something on the door, I couldn't do a big giant jack-o-lantern or ghost. That's just not my thing.

Also, I kind of forgot about it and needed something super quick!

My usual method of crafting involves scouring the internet and decor magazines to get an idea of what I want. Then I head to the nearest craft store (JoAnns, Michaels, Hobby Lobby) and buy what I need. And often I'll change my mind once I start browsing!

This time was no different. I had a plan. A list even. And once I got to the store, I changed my mind completely.

And it's funny to me how incredibly easy this was to make.

I give you...

Black Feather Spooky looking kinda-gothic wreath:

So you need:
1. A wire wreath form
2. 2 feather boas

 

 

This looks like the beginnings of some kind of evil angel costume, doesn't it?

The instructions are quite simple. Just wrap the boas around the wreath form!

I found a cute little "BOO to you" sign that I thought was fitting. I added it in there.

In the end, I liked it! And my 14 month old daughter thought the feathers were hilarious. Every time I opened the door she squealed with delight.

[party planner] 1st birthday party decorator

I had a wonderful time planning my daughter's very first birthday party. It was a lot of work, but only because I insisted on making a lot of my own decorations to save money!

We held the party at our community activity room, which was great. I highly recommend "destination" birthday parties. You won't have to clean up your house to have a million kids and parents trudging around. In addition, you'll want a space large enough that everyone can watch the guest of honor and festivities comfortably. Plus, it was nice coming home to a quiet house afterwards. 

The only downside is having to load & unload your car of all the decorations & food and such. On the day of Harper's birthday party, we had unusual weather. It was humid, which wasn't unusual. The random downpours that occurred throughout the day were unusual. And one of the downpours happened to be when I was trying to unload the car and go set up.

**sigh**

Of course.

But I made it work. And my legs and back paid for it later.

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I put a birthday banner outside the activity room. There were also festive balloons. But there's something scientific about humidity and helium because they deflated before any of the guests arrived. It was very sad looking. I cut the sad deflated balloons free before I took the photo.

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In case there was any confusion about where to go, I made a Dr. Seuss inspired sign. The playground would have been nice for the kiddos had it not been raining. We did have a covered patio where I set out bubbles and sidewalk chalk. But again, the rain and humidity made it quite uncomfortable outside. But at least they knew where to go! ;o)

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  I hung a simple fabric bunting across the door. I made it from colorful scraps of fat quarters that I had leftover from making a tutu for my daughter's 1st birthday pictures. Then I glued the triangles to a piece of yarn. Done and done! The ADORABLE invitations were created by Kristen Lawlor over at Little Law's Prints on Etsy. I had found a boy version of the invitation and she helped me out by making a girl version! And I LOVED them!!!! I'm not sure why I hung the invitation on the door. To remind people why they're there?!

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It was important to me that the party be COLORFUL. Since the theme was
Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss, I had a good place to start. I bought table cloths and balloons at Party City that matched the cover of the book perfectly.

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 Here's the birthday banner I made! You can see how I made it here.

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*I borrowed the high chair from a friend's mother. It was perfect! 

*I set it on a round table cloth from Party City. Which was a great idea considering how much fun she had with the cake later. 

*I made the "one" banner in the same fashion as her birthday banner. 

*The bib was purchased from Amazon. 

*The little party hat was purchased at Party City. It was originally a headband and I just snapped off the plastic headband parts and attached elastic. I can't tell you how excited I was to find that little party hat. I was initially planning to make my own. And it was just another project to add to my growing list. But then I stumbled across this hat. It was in the baby shower section of Party City, intended for a Mommy-to-be to wear. It was the PERFECT size for a little baby's noggin and the colors matched to perfection. Plus it coordinated with the bib as if it were made to be a set. It might have been my favorite find when shopping.  Oh, it's the little things....

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Her cake was made by the fabulous cake maker at .....<wait for it>.... KROGER! Yes! Kroger. The grocery store. And it was .....<wait for it>.... $6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I change my mind. Maybe that was my favorite find when shopping. I made the cake banner using labels, yarn, cat toys, and Bamboo Skewers. HAH! Check out my tutorial here. The cake stand was plastic & a few dollars from Party City.

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These monthly pictures banners. Y'all. I love them so much I'd hang them in my house somewhere. I had two because my thoughtful over achieving self had two sets of stickers. Let me tell you how easy:

*I printed them at my local photo printing shop, Bedford's.

*I used green clothesline found at Dollar Tree. I bought one package and made 4 different banners with tons left over.

*I used clothespins left over from my classroom. I covered them with pastel polka dot washi tape that I found at Michael's.

*At the ends of the banner, I stuck gift bows to cover the tape that I used to hang it. Brilliant, if I do say so myself.

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If there was one thing I'd NOT make, and just freaking purchase, it'd be this tissue paper tassel banner. 

*I saw this quick how-to on how to make the pieces and I thought it'd be super easy! So I went out and bought a bunch of pastel paper, polka dot paper, and stripes. All very cute paper. Spent too much on paper. Plus it took FOREVER to cut it and roll it. Who knew?!?! I should have just bought the banner somewhere (I saw them at Hobby Lobby) and been done with that part of it. The plus side was that I was able to position the tassels far apart to accommodate the signs.

*The signs.

Also something I'd put in my house. I took my favorite quotes from the book, typed them in Word, printed them, and glued them to colorful paper, also left over from my classroom. I used the font Doctor Soos, which can be downloaded for free here.

*The clothespins were the same as the monthly pictures banner. Covered them with pastel polka dot washi tape that I found at Michael's.

This banner was hung on the food bar. Folks read the quotes as they filled their plates!

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Hanging above the gift table was a TV, provided by the activity room. It had a DVD player hooked up out of sight. So I made a slide show of weekly collages that I made throughout her first year. The collages are in a book that I had printed. I uploaded these collages to Flickr each week for family to view. Each collage had a visual representation of growth and milestones. I cry when I look at them. What a sap.

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Gift table with lots of goodies above, on, & below!

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Found the letters at Micheal's for like $2. I was going to paint them, then... I just didn't. These are beside a sweet birthday picture of my Little One taken the week before.

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I didn't want any of the kids attending to get bored. That's why I was glad there was a playground nearby. I also put out bubbles and sidewalk chalk. But I wanted something indoors for them to do. Since the book had a hot air balloon involved, I found & printed several copies of a balloon coloring sheet and added a bucket of crayons. Of course I had to channel my inner Dr. Seuss to make a sign of instructions. What do you think of my catchy rhyme?

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These were the party favors. 

*I found tags on Etsy that I printed and attached.

*At Party City, I found the clear treat bags, pastel bottles of bubbles, pastel silly straws, and play dough (in what else? pastel colors)

*I also put in a pouch of Mott's applesauce.

There was a wee little baby at our party so he got a different treat bag. His contained some cute rattles and teething rings.

*I printed a quick label for each bag that had the name of the recipient (using the Doctor Soos font). I didn't want one of the bigger kids to get the baby treat bag. I also tried to give siblings the same colors so that fights would not ensue over playdough.

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I've seen this idea everywhere. Get a copy of the book and have the guests leave little messages for the birthday girl. So I did! You can find signs out there to put by the book, but I typed up my own. There are some very kind and thoughtful things written in this book for Harper to read later!

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Another idea I've seen is to hang up all of the "first" onesies that Baby wore. Throughout the year, as each holiday approached, I found Harper a onesie. First Halloween, First Christmas, etc. She had one for nearly every month! I hung them at her party as a banner "A Year of First Celebrations." Had I thought about it, I could have also had a photo album of her in the onesies, too. It's pretty adorable to see the tiny Thanksgiving onesie compared to the larger 4th of July onesie. One guest pointed out "I've never seen clothes used as party decorations before!" Well, you just did!!!

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Okay, okay, okay, so I love this. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm excitedly typing now! The book has hot air balloons in it. So I used hot air balloons as centerpieces on each table. Guess who is "driving" the little balloons? Little Harper! I managed to capture a few photos of her pointing up. I printed two of each photo, one regular, one flipped horizontally. I cut them each out and pasted them back to back. So no matter which direction you're looking, you'll see her! HAHAHA!!!!

*The balloon baskets are from Hobby Lobby and they're called mini take out boxes. I attached a mini banner that I found in the scrapbooking section and colored with pastel markers. 

*I attached a balloon filled with helium and voila! Done!

The table centerpieces also contain a frame with quotes from the book. I got the frames for $2 from Party City. All of this is sitting on two sheets of pastel scrapbook paper.

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I didn't get a good picture of my food buffet and it was the ONE thing that I was so excited about that I actually got chill bumps when I was done setting up. I can't believe I didn't get pictures of it. The next day I told my husband we were going to Kroger, buying all the same food, going back to the party room to set it back up, JUST so I could take pictures. Naturally he laughed because an idea that absurd could only be a joke....

Right?

Oh well, lesson learned. 

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 I  bought plates and napkins from Party City & Hobby Lobby respectively. Before the food got there, I labeled each platter so that my husband knew where everything belonged.

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 We served burgers. And sliders for the little ones. I already owned a few pastel platters and bowls, but I went to the Dollar Tree for a few more. I also bought mustard, mayo, & ketchup dispensers from Kroger. We had mac & cheese, potato chips, and baked beans as sides. And a cute little display of cupcakes for dessert. 

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I borrowed some adorable drink dispensers from a friend and filled them with some tropical fruit punch and some lemonade. I even had some cute straws available!

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If water was more someone's taste, I had a small ice chest of water bottles available on the floor at the end of the food buffet. By the way, have you noticed all the purple? We have an abundance of purple gear for tailgating. Go UCA Bears!

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 The kiddos had a bucket of Capri-Sun or small water bottles for their drink choice.

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I decorated above the food buffet with paper fans from Party City. I bought 2 packs.

Guess how I hung them? With Ceiling Hanglers. Leftover from my classroom, but you can get a bag of them from Mardel. Of course this only works if you're dealing with ceiling tiles.

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On the buffet I needed something tall & colorful. And inexpensive. A friend (the same one who let me borrow her drink dispensers--a truly great gal!) texted me one day with a question. 

"Do you have any use for gumballs?"

Ordinarily I'd say no. But an idea struck. So I said yes! She had come across some and had no use for them. I decided to make some kind of table centerpieces with them. I found two tall plastic vases at Party City for a few dollars a piece. I filled them each with the pastel gumballs. 

Then I stuck dowel rods in the vases. At the end of the dowel rods, I stapled gift bows. 

Strange? Yes.

Adorable? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!

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Overall, I'm thrilled with how the decorating went. Everything was bright, colorful, and cheerful. Folks made me feel good when they complimented the work I'd done. It made it so special for me & my husband, and of course for the guest of honor.

Stay tuned for pics of the birthday party!